B"H
loneliness. Beneath it all, lies the death wish that differs fro m
depression only to the degree of finality, and this may connect
the high suicide rate to anti-depressants. But; let me not ge t
started on the pharmaceutical industry, there's no escape fro m
the oppressive reality, and as pertains to human history at every
mo ment when the time is now, and only imaginative scenarios
allow us to conceive of a better future than has ever been in the
past. Only then will our memory linger into the future.
Friends of mine say the proble ms of the world ste m from the
ego, so man has beco me a predator of his own species. The trait
of castigating bla me is fa miliar and in Jewish ethical philosophy
(Musar) as is said by Chazal, "one finds to blame, in his
associates, that which is at fault in hi mself. " A wise ma n
(chacha m) reconciles himself to fallibility; purpose articulated
by having been brought into the world full of the possibility o f
error; and of course, there is always room for improve ment.
Religion can train our thinking to follow sets of rules by whic h
to discipline ourselves, some of which are intended obviate one
from unconscious wiles. An ounce of prevention is worth a
pound of cure.
Pain That I Accept in Equanimity Impels My Salvation Closer
Independent solitude is wherein the soul craves for the
connection to its source. Words are the specialty of this being;
as such, perceptual conception would be his or her measure o f
freedom. When I think how the words of my mind can inflict
such damage, the pangs of conscience I've endured ;
regurgitating and swallowing again down the hatch in the abyss
of emptiness and blackness of the dark hole transform ed into
anti-being, nevermore. On the other hand, we can accept the
intolerable as a formal purification applied to shrieking fears
uttered in self-debasement, to effect healing, repentance.
Everything is dependent on the words we utter: all pain that I
accept in equanimity brings the Kodesh Boruch Hu to love me
evermore.
At this conjecture, the trail of wisdom splits at the fork upo n
a road into the depth of my personality. It's as if my loneliness
urges me forth to find an ultimate in achieving the impossible;
to be faced with a challenge that puts my greatest c unning and
strengths against an adversary who would deign to overwhelm
and destroy me. This is because of an intrinsic goodness
299