His Heart Scribe Inspirations Devotional Magazine January 2014 January Issue 2014 | Page 10

(Continued from page 9—Shanna Echols-White)

From November of
1999
to
February of
2000 I lost
25lbs. I had
more energy than I had had in years and thought this was the answer
to my prayers. House was cleaner, laundry was always
done, and I was superwoman!
$50.00 every two weeks turned into $100.00. I had
no clue when I stuck the needle in my arm the first
time I was climbing in bed with the devil … I was.
The first thing to go was the job. Still, I continued to
use believing I was still in control. All the while, neglecting my children to let dope fiends stay at my
house ... to shower, do laundry and to sleep. See, I
love helping people in need. I truly believed that
what I was doing was a good thing.
The devil played on my weakness and where I was
vulnerable. I was blind to the fact I was neglecting
the 2 people that needed me the most. This was 3
years into my "addiction.” But I believed I still in
control.
I had started dealing and was moving 1/4 to 1/2 oz.
a day. Time marched on and a few more years went
by. Me and the boys had been evicted from house
after house, apartment after apartment. We
bounced from motel to motel. I had burned every
bridge and lied to everyone I knew. I was evicted
from the last house, knowing I could not rent from
anyone in town with my history.

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“I took my kids to my
brother’s house. I could
not live in a car with them.
As I drove away I still believed I would pull it all
together while I continued
to stick the devil’s spear in
my arm.”

“I ended up in a house
that i squatted in for over
2 years. It was about 3
months after leaving my
kids that I realized, truly
realized that I was never
going to be with them
again. The pain and agony
of not having my sons, my
life I had once had was
unbearable. There are no
words.”

“I lived in this house not having any electricity, or water. I
slept on a mattress I had found
in the garbage. I had a dog and
8 cats that lived in this house
with me. They urinated and
defecated on the floors of the
house and the smell was horrific.
The toilet was taped off to keep
the maggots from escaping
from using it over and over
with no running water. I had at
this point been using the backyard as my own personal toilet.”