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EXERCISE
Exercise : Describe the qualities of a good helper
KEY TO KNOW
Draw a helper on the flipchart . Make room to write comments .
• What are the differences between male and female helpers ?
• Do men and women help in different ways ?
• How would you describe yourself as a helper ?
• What do you do when you meet a survivor who is overwhelmed by emotions ( sadness , shame , anger , anxiety , numbness )?
• Is it sometimes difficult to help survivors ? What factors make it difficult to help them ?
• Can you name any specific use of a human rights-based approach in your work ? Did it help ?
• Give examples from your work where you chose not to use a human rights-based approach
• How would your work change if you used a human rights-based approach ?
[ Write the participants ’ comments and conclusions on the flipchart . Put in the illustration of a male and female helper .]
Role play : The first meeting between a helper and a male survivor
ROLE PLAY EXERCISE
Practise how to meet a male survivor with a colleague . Helpers need to bear in mind : body language , distance and closeness , cultural codes , their words , and non-verbal feedback . One helper should play the role of the survivor . Remember to “ brush off ” your roles afterwards and return to being yourselves . Discuss together how you experienced being a helper and being a survivor . What worked well and what might you do differently in a real situation ?
2.2.1 Basic helping skills as a good helper
Aim . To promote a healthy relationship with a survivor , adopt and practise the qualities and psychological skills below .
We are using the WHO guidelines to focus on the basic helping skills :
• Confidentiality . The survivors you help need to know that they can speak to you openly about personal things , and that the information they give you will remain confidential or private . At the same time , you need to make clear the legal boundaries to this confidentiality . For example , depending on the laws of the country and the protection and social services in place , you may have a duty to divulge information given to you confidentially if a survivor appears likely to end his life or harm others . You may also have a duty to divulge information that a survivor has told you in confidence if not doing so will put that survivor at risk . Information must be kept safe . You must know how to deal with information you receive when you speak to colleagues and supervisors ; and how to protect information about other people who have not consented to its communication .
• Listen attentively . Good communication is an important tool . Male survivors who have experienced maltreatment or been through a crisis may be shy , upset , anxious , or confused ; or they may feel guilt , shame or a range of other emotions . Be calm and show understanding : this helps people in distress to feel safer , understood , respected and cared for appropriately . Survivors who have been through distressing experiences may want to tell you their stories .