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Act to prevent new traumas
Research indicates that a child who has experienced sexual abuse is more likely than other children to be abused again later in life . It is important to focus on how to protect children who have been sexually abused from additional adversity . Build protective shields around children in your community . Help caregivers to identify and avoid situations that are risky . Teach children and adolescents about safety , self-care , their value , and the importance of caring for each other .
How to support parents of an abused child
THE GOOD HELPER
When a child is experiencing sexual abuse from a perpetrator outside the family , the parents of the child are also traumatized . ( The trauma definition clearly states that traumatization is when you encounter an event that is a threat to your physical og psychological integration or being witness to someone close experiencing this .) For parents a threat towards your child is therefore a shock . Many parents react with disbelief and denial . Instead of criticising the parents for this , as helpers we should help the parents through their process and assist them in being good protective shields for their child .
The normal reactions after the first initial shock period are to go through a series of emotions ; guilt and self-blame , ( and sometimes blaming the child ), shame , anger and grief . Often , the mother will react different than the father . A father will often react with anger whereas a mother will react with self-blame and shame .
The deep feeling of guilt and self-blame is connected to the attachment bond between the parent and the child and the need for a parent to feel that he or she is capable to keep their child safe .
At the same time the sexual assault of a child evokes a grief , a deep feeling of loss and sadness .
This is a sort of mourning of the loss of innocence , loss of trust and the ability to trust the world to treat my child with care and respect , and lack of hope for the future .
HELPER ADVICE
Advice to parents Parents are the most important people in a child ’ s life . Tell parents :
• You are the most important person in your child ’ s life , be the protective shield . Rebuild the child ’ s core sense of trust .
• Your reaction to the trauma is crucial . The child looks to the parent to explain the meaning of things .
• The child does not forget . Even if the child has not put what happened into words , the memory of what happened stays in the body and in inner pictures and can be triggered .
• Your child has not had sex . It was the adult ’ s sexual desire and the adult ’ s need for power that determined what happened .
• Your child is not damaged for life . If helped , wounds will heal .
• This event does not define your child ’ s identity . Both you and the child need to see the child ’ s whole identity . The child is not just a victim .
• Be absolutely clear where the responsibility lies . The child is not guilty and is not sinful . Convey hope and trust for the future . Show the child that you love him or her .