You try and think about all the
wonderful things about pregnancy
and holding that baby…but it doesn’t
work. All you want to do is sleep and
never feel that pain in your stomach
again. Throwing up only gives you a
short reprieve and then the pain
slowly starts to come back and you
know that soon the pain will get so
bad that you won’t be able to stop
yourself from throwing up again.
You worry that these negative feelings
you have for your unborn won’t go
away. Everyone tries to help and
reassure you that its normal and that
it will end but it doesn’t make you feel
better.
You husband helps all he can but
sometimes you hate to even look at
him or be in the same room as him.
You can’t help but think “why aren’t
you sick?” “Why am I the one
having to go through this?” “This
isn’t fair.” You start resenting him
and don’t mean to. On top of every
other emotion you are dealing with
you start to feel guilt over how you
are treating him and wishing he
understood more. Especially with all
he does to go out at 1am on food
runs and holding your hair as you
puke. You love him so much.
As he tries to help you, he starts to
yell at you to eat and you try and
tell him that food makes you sick.
The very thought and smell make
your head spin and stomach churn.
He continues to yell that you need
to eat (I know he is only trying to
help) and all you can do is close
your eyes and pretend to sleep till
he walks away and you can let the
tears pour down your face. As you
fall into an uncomfortable sleep
your last thought is, “No one
understands.”
Josh & Tiffany Addante
Film Makers
Puddle Pirate Productions
8