Unfortunately , abusers sometimes carry out these threats , demonstrated by the high number of post-separation homicides . ( However , although the risk of intimate partner homicide is highest in the first three months after a separation , separation still lowers the risk of intimate partner homicide overall ) ( Spencer & Stith , 2020 ).
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6 . Child Abuse or Neglect . If they are in a custody battle ( Jeffries , 2016 ), clever domestic abusers try to avoid blatantly abusing their children . They might , however , drive at dangerously high speeds with their child in the car , or fail to protect the child adequately from COVID-19 , bug bites , or sunburn , or allow the child to watch TV all day during their parenting time .
One domestic abuser I know bought his young daughter high heels so he could sneak her onto amusement park rides where she did not meet the height requirement . Another bought his children chips and soda for dinner twice a week at the local gas station when he had parenting time , announcing to everyone who came in that the kids ’ “ no-good mother ” had abandoned them ( which was not at all true ). Other abusers will physically , psychologically , or sexually abuse their children as a way to “ get back ” at their ex-partner .
7 . Counter-Parenting consists of working against , rather than along with , the protective parent . Many abusers don ’ t mind hurting their children if they can harm their ex-partners in the process ( Peled , 2000 ). People engaged in counter-parenting will foil the protective parent ’ s efforts to have children complete their schoolwork or will complicate the transitions or exchange of possessions from one parent to the other .