coming to pick up the children later that week when her home got too cold to be safe . ( She managed to avert this outcome by selling some of her clothes to pay the oil bill ).
2 . Legal Abuse refers to using court proceedings and false reports of child abuse to control , harass , and impoverish the other parent or seeking a change in custody as a means of continued control over the other parent . Domestic abusers often act the role of a loving and caring parent who wants to have half-time or more with their children when their true goal is to maintain a route for harassing the survivor ( Morrison , 2015 ). Frequently , the domestic abuser creates a false ( gaslighting ) narrative that the other parent should lose much or all of their parenting time because they are “ mentally unstable .”
Abusers and their lawyers often accuse protective parents of parental alienation when in fact , the child is afraid of the abuser because the abuser intimidates the child and has hurt their protective parent in the child ' s presence ( Meier , 2022 ).
3 . Isolation . Abusers often work hard to defame their targets , spreading rumors among friends , family , co-workers , and congregations . This reputation assassination may involve usurping their ex ’ s online identity to make them look bad or spreading rumours that the ex has “ lost it .” Abusers may also tell false stories to clergy , physicians , therapists , and even their children ’ s teachers , to further isolate their ex-partners .
4 . Monitoring , Stalking , and Harassment . The monitoring may include apps that track or record their ex-partner ’ s activities and communications . The abuser may continuously call their ex or send emails , texts , and instant messages . If there are children involved , these messages may ostensibly concern child-related matters when their true intention is to interfere as much as possible with the ex-partner ’ s ability to live a peaceful life . One survivor told me that her ex texted her every two hours when she had the child with her , more than a dozen times a day , demanding that she tell him what she and her child were doing .
5 . Threats , Violence , and Homicide . Abusers frequently control their exes with threats . Abusers threaten to release sexual images and ruin their ex ’ s reputation and livelihood . They threaten to drive them to financial ruin and block the target from ever seeing their children . They may overtly issue threats of bodily harm or a deluge of messages such as , “ What if something happens to you , God forbid ….”