Harmful Post-Separation Abuse Tactics
7 Common Post-Separation Abuse Tactics
... and how an ex can remain on guard .
KEY POINTS
• Separating from a domestic abuser may not stop the abuse .
• Domestic abusers will vengefully harm their own children to get back at their ex .
• Coercive control of a partner continues long after a relationship ends .
When domestic abuse victims leave a relationship , we assume they are safe . However , 90 percent report experiencing post-separation abuse for years or decades after the relationship ends ( Sharp-Jeffs et al ., 2018 ). When directed at targets who are parents , these tactics also harm children directly and indirectly .
Harmful Post-Separation Abuse Tactics
1 . Economic Abuse . This may include blocking access to bank accounts and credit cards or canceling these , ruining the target ’ s credit , and failing to comply with needed ( and sometimes court-ordered ) payments . Economic abuse can be global and life-changing , such as taking out loans in the target ' s name , which may disqualify her ( temporarily ) from opening an account with a utility provider or securing a lease on a home . Economic abuse can also consist of a string of seemingly petty but ultimately costly actions , such as signing a child up for activities without paying the fee , so the target has to pay these unexpected fees or risk disappointing the child . Or sending a child to school without a winter jacket , week after week , so the target has to buy multiple jackets .
Abusers often quit or choose to “ lose ” their job rather than pay support to the other parent of their children , sometimes rendering that parent ( and the children ) homeless in the process . One abuser delightedly informed the mother of his children that he had failed to pay for heating oil for the home where she lived with their kids , as obligated by the court , and he would be