Do we bombard them with individualistic ideals of winnertakes-all ? Or do we foster a sense of contribution and collective community ( both of which have been found to be vital for good mental health )[ 6 ]?
Do we teach them that respect and adulation can be attained without effort or responsibility ? Or do we help them build the capacity to plan and work hard towards their goals ?
Perhaps this is what should come first .
Aspiration without perspiration
As the old saying has it , " Don ' t have a wishbone where your backbone should be !"
The authors of the When Aspirations Exceed Expectations study said something similar :
" These findings highlight the danger of teaching students to aspire higher without also investing time and money to ensure that students can reasonably expect to achieve their educational goals ."
Could it be that in many schools , we teach kids to dream big , aim high , and shoot for the stars ... but focus less on teaching them to develop the resources they need to plan effectively and work towards their goals ?
When we use vague , abstract phrases like " change the world " ( with the implication that ' s for the better !), " be all you can be ", and " become successful ", we may be inculcating desire without aptitude .