Harmony in Marriage 73
Dadashri: Very hot-tempered; I used to maintain this, always. But you don’ t have to scare her unnecessarily. As soon as I entered, everything became quiet. Everything cools down, the instant my footsteps are heard.
Why the strictness? It is to prevent her from falling in life. That is why you should have the look of control in one eye and love in the other.
I am often accused of siding with the women. I am telling you to praise your wife, but that does not mean you need to do her aarti( devotional ritual) in the morning. If you do that, then she will wear and tear you down. What do I mean by this? I tell you to have sternness in one eye and love in the other eye, but don’ t put her on a pedestal. She does not have those qualities. Praise her in your mind.
Questioner: You have spoken about men, but what should women do? What should women maintain in their eyes?
Dadashri: For a woman, regardless of what her husband is like, she has to accept him as her own account. It is not coincidental that one acquires a husband. No matter what your husband is like, your efforts should be put into becoming a devoted wife. If you are not able to do this, then ask for his forgiveness. This should be your aim. You should be focused on how you can progress further in your partnership with your husband. How will you attain a higher level; how you will both attain moksha?
So tell your wife,“ You can fight with me as much as you want, but Dada has told me not to fight. Dada has given me this command, so I am going to sit here and you can say whatever you want to say.”
Questioner: Then she will remain quiet.