72
Harmony in Marriage
or hurt excessively. Hence, the saying, “It is easy to play with
and please a woman, but when she gets angry, she is a terror.”
When she gets angry she is like a lioness. We men should not
take things that far, we should know our limits. If you keep
harassing the poor woman, where will she go? That is why she
gets angry. Her response of anger varies in intensity, from mild
to extreme.
When a woman is in an explosive rage, your intellect will
not help you. Your intellect will not be able to control her, so
speak to her in a manner that will not aggravate her. Keep real
love in your eyes. If at any time she says the wrong things,
remember that she is a woman and let it go. Have complete
love in one eye and in the other, maintain a little sternness. You
should live in this manner. Use the appropriate approach. You
cannot be totally strict all day long. In one eye you maintain
strictness and with the other eye view her as a goddess. Do you
understand?
Questioner : How can you be strict in one eye and view
her as a goddess in the other at the same time?
Dadashri : A man is capable of all that. When I was
about thirty years old, whenever I came home, Hiraba would
be visiting with other ladies. Not just Hiraba, but the other
ladies too, would see sternness as well as reverence in my eyes.
The ladies would be sitting with their faces covered by the veil
of their saris, but the moment I entered the house, they would
stiffen up. Hiraba too, would be fearful even before I entered
the home. The minute she heard my footsteps, fear overcame
her. Maintain strictness in one eye and love in the other. A
woman cannot live without this control and love from a man.
That is why Hiraba used to say, “Goodness, just look at what
Dada is like!”
Questioner :Very hot tempered.