68
Harmony in Marriage
Dadashri : A wise man would refuse to quarrel even if
someone gave him a million rupees and yet here, people quarrel
without getting paid. If that is not foolishness, what is it? Lord
Mahavir had to walk sixty miles to estranged areas in order to
fulfil his karmas at the hands of primitive people. But today you
fortunate people do not have to venture out of your homes to
settle your karmas. How fortunate you are! All this (quarrelling)
is very beneficial for settling your karmas, providing you know
how to conduct yourself.
Give advice or your opinions, only if someone in the
household asks. The Lord has said that to give advice without
being asked is egotistical. A husband asks his wife where to
stack the water glasses and she tells him. But instead he tells her
that is not a good place to store the glasses and that she has
no sense and starts an argument. She replies, “I don’t have any
sense and that is why I told you to put them there. Now you
use your own sense and put them wherever you want.” How
can you solve these kinds of quarrels? These are all merely
clashes of circumstances. These tops (Dada calls all human
beings ‘tops’; we are all tops spinning in this life and our
spinning is dictated by our past karma as they come to fruition)
clash as they eat or as they wake up. These tops then become
bruised and even bleed. This is all mental bleeding. Bleeding
from a physical wound is preferable because you can stop it
with a bandage, but you cannot put any dressing on these
mental injuries.
You cannot attain moksh if you insult anyone in your
family or outside. Insults associated with abhorrence are very
dangerous. It will surely impede your liberation. There are
varying degrees of insults. One can have mild internal
repulsion and internal hate, which is not apparent to others.
Then there are overt, intense insults with abhorrence, which
cause severe mental wounds in the person insulted, and for