66
Harmony in Marriage
should be open-minded. The wife should not be the first to ask
for forgiveness. Men, by nature, are more forgiving. Do you
understand what I am saying?
Questioner : He is pleased since you said that husbands
have a more forgiving nature.
Dadashri : No, men really do have an open and
forgiving mind; they have a very open mind and women are
more natural and spontaneous in their actions. This means that
if it comes to their mind from within to ask for forgiveness, they
will. If it does not arise in their mind, they will not repent. But
if you, as a husband, take the initiative and ask for forgiveness,
then she too will do so immediately. You will not remain
completely dependant upon your unfolding karma; you are
dependant upon your jagruti (awareness), but she is dependent
upon her unfolding karma. Women are spontaneous and
natural. Such natural spontaneity is not a trait in men. If indeed
you were to acquire that trait, you would be very happy.
Questioner : Ego is wrong, that is what we are told and
we even listen. We hear it over and over again. All scriptures
and religious teachers preach this too. Despite this, why does
this ego not go?
Dadashri : When will ego leave? When you accept it is
wrong, only then will it leave. If you fight with your wife, then
you should understand that your ego is wrong. Therefore
everyday through that very ego, you should ask for her
forgiveness, from within. Then the ego will go away. You will
have to find a solution, will you not?
I am showing you this straightforward path. Besides you
do not clash with your wife on a daily basis, do you? It only
happens as your karmas unfold, and for that you just need to
adjust accordingly. After an altercation with your wife, take her