Harmony in Marriage
63
Questioner : What should I do if when I say this to him,
he still does not come around?
Dadashri : If he does not soften up, then what can you
do? You just do your best and free yourself from your side.
What other solution is there? One day he will soften up. If you
try to soften him by telling him off, it will not work. Today he
may appear to have softened, but he will make a note in his
mind and then one day when you are soft, he will rehash
everything. This world is full of vengeance. It is the law of
nature that every living being will harbor some vengeance. They
will retain the atoms of vengeance. You should always try to
solve all conflicts.
Questioner : So then should we not say anything at all?
Dadashri : Yes you should, but only if the other person
accepts it whole-heartedly. Otherwise what is the point of
barking like a dog? Whatever you say, should be acceptable to
the other person.
Questioner : But what am I to do if he is lying?
Dadashri : Whether he lies or not, it is not your look
out. Whether he speaks the truth or lies, it is his responsibility.
Questioner : If we do not know how to say it, then
should we just keep quiet?
Dadashri : Remain silent and see what happens. If you
are watching a movie, and a child falls in that movie, what do
you do? Everyone has the right to say something but only to the
point where it will not create any friction and hostility. It is
foolish to speak when doing so exacerbates the proble m.
When your words are filled with real love, then even if
you scold them, they will not be hurt.