62
Harmony in Marriage
these two are in a parrot fight and they should not be taken
seriously.
If you scold your wife, servant, or children for just one
hour, then in your next life they will come to you as your wife
or mother-in-law and harass you for the rest of your life. Justice
is always there. You cannot avoid this suffering. If you create
misery for anyone, you will get the same dose back. An hour’s
worth of misery given to others will result in a lifetime of pain
for you. Then you will complain, “My wife is no good, she nags
me.” The wife may wonder herself why she is the cause of your
misery. She suffers too. But there is no way out. Then if I were
to ask this man, “Did you chose her to be your wife or did she
chose you to be her husband?” he would say that he chose her.
So why blame her? It is not her fault if later on, you find her
unsuitable. Where can she go?
Questioner : Can things be resolved if we stop talking
in order to bring the matter to close?
Dadashri : No, nothing will get resolved. If you meet
that person, you should ask him how he is doing. But if he starts
acting up a little and becomes loud and aggressive, you should
maintain your calmness and solve the matter with equanimity.
Sooner or later, you will have to deal with it. If you stop talking
to him, does that mean things have been resolved? It’s just the
opposite. It is because the problem has not been solved that
people stop talking to each other. When people stop talking, it
means there is a burden, a burden of not being able to resolve
the problem. You should immediately say, “Tell me if I have
made a mistake. I make a lot of mistakes. You are very
educated and clever, therefore you don’t make too many
mistakes, but I am less educated so I make a lot of mistakes!”
You have to talk to him in this manner so that he will be happy
and come around.