Harmony in Marriage
55
this false attachment will end. These opinions have arisen from
the time of your marriage. Prejudices of, “He’s like this. He’s
like that,” have taken hold. Were they ever there before? Now
you have to decide, “No matter what he is like, he is the only
one for me.” You yourself had selected him. Is it appropriate for
you to ask for a different husband now?
[15] RECOGNITION OF THE HIGHEST LOVE
Someone may ask, “Isn’t a woman’s love worth
appreciating?” Then I would explain to him that love, which
increases or decreases, is not true love at all. Her love will
increase when you buy her a pair of diamond earrings, but will
then decrease if you refuse to buy her a diamond ring. This is
not love.
Questioner : So in the absence of increase or decrease,
what is the nature of real love?
Dadashri : Real love does not increase or decrease. In
all events and situations, real love remains constant. Here, your
love will remain as long as they are doing your work, and it will
break when they refuse to do you work. How can you call this
love? You will find pure love, where there are no selfish
motives. And where will you find no selfishness? There is no
selfishness where there are no feelings of ‘mine’ or ‘yours’.
Where there is Gnan (knowledge of the Real Self), there are
no feelings of ‘mine’ or ‘yours’! There is always ‘mine’ and
‘yours,’ where there is no Gnan.
All of these beliefs are wrong. “I am Chandubhai,” is a
wrong belief. Then when we go to his house, we ask, “Who is
this?” and he will reply, “Did you not recognize me? I am this
woman’s dhani (husband; owner).” All these are wrong beliefs.
Why do you want to be her owner (husband)? What is wrong
in saying that she is your companion?