Harmony in Marriage
53
conflict in trying to do good for the other person.
Questioner : When we make an effort to ending a
conflict with someone and we know that the result is not going
to be satisfactory, what should we do?
Dadashri : The end result may be anything, but all you
have to do is make a decision to put an end to it. Decide to
settle with equanimity. Then do not be concerned with whether
there is closure or not. It will happen, if not today then some
day. If it (your karmic account) is sticky, it may take two or
three or five years. Karmic accounts with your wife, children,
and parents are very sticky and complex, and therefore, closure
with them will take longer. These relatives are always with us.
Here settlement will take time, but if you have made the
decision that you do want to settle with equanimity, then one
day it will settle. It will come to an end.
[14] UNWIND THE STRINGS OF BONDAGE WITH
YOUR WIFE IN THIS MANNER
One day a man came to me crying, so I asked him what
was wrong. He told me, “My young wife died recently and I
cannot stop thinking about her. I have two young children.” I
then asked how long they had been married. “Exactly twelve
years today,” he replied. So then I asked him if he would have
had feelings for her had he met her on a bus twelve and a half
years ago, to which he replied, “No.”
Don’t they sit the bride and the groom under the chori
(a canopy under which the Hindu marriage c