52
Harmony in Marriage
Dadashri : Then ask her why she interferes with your
driving. Ask her if your driving is hurting her in any way. Tell her
that the only reason she gets away with her criticisms is because
you are her husband. Ask her if she would criticize the chauffer
the same way. She knows that if she did, he would tell her to
be quiet or get out, putting her in a predicament.
Questioner : If we do not take the wife’s side, there will
be a fight.
Dadashri : Correct, and there is nothing wrong in doing
so. If you take her side, only then will you have a peaceful night.
Otherwise how would you be able to sleep? In these kinds of
situations, you should not use your intellect as a lawyer.
Questioner : We should not side with the neighbours
when they fight with our wives, should we?
Dadashri : No, in all disputes, you should always take
the side of your wife, not the neighbours, even if your wife is
at fault. Take care of the people in your own home first. Even
if your wife is guilty, you should defend her. There you do not
need to look for justice and accuse her of wrongdoing. You
have to eat and sleep here only. You should plead the case in
support of your own family.
Questioner : How can we tell whether the other party
has been satisfied? The other party may be satisfied but what
if there is harm in it for them?
Dadashri : That is not your look out. If there is harm in
it for them, it is their lookout. You should take into consideration
what is good or bad for others, but do you really have the
ability to do so? You are not able to see what is good or bad
for your own self, so why are you looking for the good or the
bad for others? Each individual looks for what is in his own best
interest according to his own capacity. There should not be any