Harmony in Marriage
51
members in difficulty, including yourself. There will be times
when you will have to play her also, but you will not be able
to do that if you make her your boss. This does not happen to
those who come to me. With my Gnan their life together
becomes filled with harmony. All subtle, internal violence
disappears. All they think about is how to make other people
happy.
You have to be careful and compromising, especially with
a new wife. If everything is new, then you have to help her
adjust. If the wife sulks on the first day and you get upset,
nothing good will come about. If she sulks, pacify her and tell
her the two of you are one. Try to appease her in this manner.
What happens if you both start shouting? Shouldn’t you know
how to deal with your wife?
Questioner : Some ladies get tired of the routine house
chores. When you ask them to do something, they come up
with all kinds of excuses, such as “I am tired, my head hurts,
my back hurts.”
Dadashri : Start in the morning by saying her, “My dear
you are tired today. Why don’t you take a break and rest?”
This will energize her. She will reply, “No you be quiet and sit
down, I will take care of it.” We should be masters in the art
convincing others to do work.
Questioner : When we are driving, she tells me how to
drive, where to take a turn, when to slow down, and when to
apply the brakes. She is always nagging, “Drive this way, and
drive that way.”
Dadashri : So leave the driving to her, then there will be
no hassle.
Questioner : Then she’ll say she does not have the
courage to drive.