Harmony in Marriage
43
where will it all end if you start doing this? That is a concern for
the person who runs that department. Things get used up and
have to be replaced. But why are you trying to be a ‘smart
Alec’? You should not interfere in her kitchen department.
In the first few years of our marriage there was some
interference. Then gradually we cleaned up all the mess and
made a decision that the kitchen and the running of the
household were her responsibility and earning money was mine.
We were not to interfere in each other’s affairs.
If you see the interaction in our home, you would find it
very pleasant. When Hiraba was healthy, she would personally
go to the vegetable stand at the end of our street to buy
vegetables. If I were home she would ask me what vegetables
she should bring. I would tell her to bring whatever she wanted
to. Then she would go out and buy them. This is how it would
go on everyday, so what would one do in this situation? She
then stopped asking me and it went on this way for a few days,
so one day I asked her, “Why did you bring these karelas
(bitter gourds)?” She replied, “Whenever I ask you what I
should bring, you tell me I should buy whatever I want, and
now you’re pointing out my mistakes?” I replied, “No, we have
to keep a practice where you ask me what vegetables to buy
and I tell you whatever you feel like. Keep this custom of ours
going!” This custom she carried out till the end. Even the people
who came to visit us were impressed. How wonderful was the
custom of this household! Ther efore your worldly dealings
should look good on the outside. It should not be one-sided.
How wise Lord Mahavir was! He kept the real and the relative
separate. Not one-sided at all. Don’t people make note of
worldly interactions? People saw us everyday. “Does she ask
you this everyday?” my friends would ask. Then when I told
them yes, they asked, “Doesn’t she get tired?” they asked. I in
turn asked, “Why would she get tired? It is not as if she has to