Harmony in Marriage
19
will say to his wife, “Go back to your parent’s home, I do not
want you at all!” Now is there any understanding here? What
do you think? The two were united earlier, but that unity breaks
down and the separation between them begins. Now, even with
his own wife, he starts using words like, ‘mine’ and ‘yours’. He
accuses her, “You’re like this, and you’re like that.” She
responds by asking, “When have you ever been straight?” So
even in your own home everything becomes ‘mine’ and ‘yours’.
Couples now separate themselves by saying, “Me and
you, me and you, me and you!” whereas in the past, they used
to refer to themselves as ‘us’. “‘We’ two, are one, ‘we’ are like
this and ‘we’ are like that. It is ‘ours.’” The word ‘we’ and
‘ours’, turn into ‘mine’ and ‘yours’, initiating quarrels and
rivalry. At what point will these quarrels end? Divorce and
devastation are the results. These quarrels destroy everything.
So do not get into conflict with anyone.
Day after day the husband will say “My wife, my wife,”
but, if they are going out of town and the wife happens to pack
one of her saris in his suitcase, he will start yelling, “Why have
you packed your sari in my bag?” Just observe the behaviour
of these so-called ‘reputable’ men! Was her sari going to eat
him up? He behaves in this manner because he claims a
separate identity. This ‘husband-wife’ relationship is a type of
business; it is the reason they get together. It is a contract. Will
they lose their separate identities? No, that identity remains
separate only. Does he not ask, “Why did you pack your saris
in my bag?”
Questioner : Yes, he does.
Dadashri : These men argue over a simple sari. The
wife thinks to herself, “He always creates this problem, even if
I touch his bag. I must have made a mistake about him when
I was looking for a husband. From where did I get such a