2
Harmony in Marriage
how to function as a family. If Mary does not get along with
William, she will consider a divorce right away. In India,
divorce is not an option. We stay together, quarrel, and then
sleep in the same room. This is not what life is all about. This
is not called ‘family life’.
In India, people have their own family doctor. How can
you have a family doctor, when you do not even have a family?
The family doctor is treated as part of the family, while the wife
is treated like an outsider. When the family doctor comes, they
do not quarrel with him, even if he leaves behind a big bill.
Instead they’ll say, “This is our family doctor!” People think
they have a status in society by having their own family doctor!
Should you quarrel with a member of the family if he
accidentally hurt you? No. You should live like a family; you
should not just pretend to do so. People put up a facade about
being a family. It should not be that way. There should be unity
within a family. If your wife gets upset with you, wait awhile and
then say to her, “No matter what you say to me and no matter
how upset you get with me, I miss you when you are not
around!” Tell your wife that you don’t like being separated from
her. Just go ahead and say this ‘Guru Mantra’ (words that give
results). You never express your love and appreciation to your
wife, do you? What is the problem in doing so? Just tell her you
do not like being away from her. You should keep most of your
love to yourself, but do share and express some of it.
[2] QUARRELS AT HOME
Dadashri : Do you ever have kalesh (quarrels) at
home? What do you think about conflicts in the home? Do you
like it?
Questioner : The world does not function without
quarrels.