How to Discipline Toddlers
As they test their independence , setting and enforcing limits lays the groundwork for good behavior .
By Rachael Ehmke , Child-Mind Institute
When and how should you begin to discipline toddlers ?
Kids begin knowing what “ no ” means at around seven months on average , and , once they can speak , many go through a stage where it becomes their favorite word to use . Unfortunately , parents can also count on kids going through a stage where they gleefully ignore when mom or dad says no and other attempts and discipline . That ’ s because it is natural for them to start pushing boundaries — testing their independence and trying to explore the world on their own terms .
Why discipline is important
A big part of discipline in the early years is simply keeping kids safe . We don ’ t touch the oven . We don ’ t pull on the cat ’ s tail . We don ’ t run into the street . But by setting consistent limits early , parents are also laying the groundwork for good behavior in the future .
Setting limits has other benefits , too . Telling children which behaviors you do — and don ’ t — want to see actually makes kids feel more secure , because it reminds them that you ’ re in charge and guides them to the areas where they should be developing their skills and independence ( such as playing with the plastic tea set and not trying to touch the real one ).
Rules are also a way to help kids begin to consider the perspective of others or at least set the stage for empathy . Two-year-olds might be too egocentric to comprehend how others feel , but they can begin to learn that sharing is a nice thing to do and practice handing grandma a toy .
But how should parents share rules with children , and how can those rules be enforced — particularly when children are very young and might not understand the concept of consequences ?
Setting routines
Kristin Carothers , a clinical psychologist , says that parents are probably already setting limits without realizing it . “ One of the most naturalistic ways to create boundaries is around having set routines for your kids ,” says Dr . Carothers . “ They might not know what time it is , but they know the bedtime routine — we have our bath , we read our book , we go sleep in our own bed .” By creating a familiar routine , parents are teaching children what to expect next , so there are no unpleasant surprises , while also establishing a clear boundary about when the bedtime begins .
Discipline toddlers in the moment
Of course , much of life isn ’ t planned for , so parents need strategies for how to correct behavior and reinforce boundaries in the moment . “ If there ’ s a rule you want
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