The bottom line is that
as we were created to
commune with God;
to have relationship
with the Triune who
loved us first, we are
bereft of this union
when we are separat-
ed from it. But when
we live in commu-
nion with Him, we
experience some of
the fullness of what
that original union
was meant to be. We
know peace because
we stop striving to be
someone who mat-
ters. We stop striving
because we learn that
we are, indeed, known
and when we learn
to embrace this, we
find ourselves needing
nothing else.
I
am forty-three this
year. An age has
passed and only in
this new season of my
life have I felt brave
enough to engage with
the notion that there
is only truly one way
I will ever experience
the peace I crave.
There is only One who
I can receive full ap-
proval from and there-
fore only One who will
satisfy my hunger to
be known.
Christ, his love and
subsequent sacrifice on
the Cross, carries the
truth of what it means
to be a truly known
and approved of hu-
man being. I have tried
many ways around
this and nothing
carries the fullness of
union with God more
than recognising and
accepting this truth.
Nothing.
A
s I walk through
the process of
letting go of what I
thought I needed, I
find myself slowly but
surely craving less.
And not just craving
less attention and
approval, but craving
less in general. Less
food. Less stuff. Less
money. It seems that as
I recognise the Source
of all approval, and
step into His grace and
complete acceptance
through Christ, I crave
less of what the world
has to offer.
My journey is in-
complete. I battle and
sometimes even rage
against the system I
have been guided by
since childhood. It’s
not an easy journey
by any means. But it
seems to be the most
authentic. I am still
working through what
it means to be fully
satisfied by the accep-
tance and love of God
but I do know that
each day I let go of my
preconceptions, I am
caught by his grace
and carried further
into his embrace, and
this is what releases me
from the need to be
known. For in Him, I
am known and I don’t
have a thing to do to
cross into that freedom
than accept Him.
This weekend I sat at
the back of the church
with my hubby. The
back of the church has
always been a place
where I was taught
(not at all directly,
but through obser-
vation) that this was
where you sat when
you weren’t feeling
connected to God.
The closer to the front,
the more ‘in tune’ you
were; the more spiri-
tually connected you
were. This unspoken
rule pervades Chris-
tian communities and
I intend to break free
from that paradigm.
So we sat up the back,
back row, in fact, and
I reflected on how this
made me feel given my
recent exploration of
needing to be known.
A
s a worship
leader and per-
son known fairly well
within my Christian
community, I feel the
pressure of being vis-
ible, being a good ex-
ample and being ‘seen’
to be in deep worship
with God on a Sunday
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