morning. After all, I have to
lead by example, and sitting
at the back, out of the eye
of the pastor and everyone
else, I might send the wrong
message.
I am sure that I am not
the only person in church
feeling this way but even if I
am, let me say this. If I feel
uncomfortable sitting at the
back of the church and feel
a sense of obligation to sit
where people can see me,
I am striving to fulfil my
base need for approval and
acceptance. I am craving
affirmation and my need to
be known is raging. And if
that is happening, the best
place for me to be is in the
back, probably on my knees,
or even on the floor reach-
ing deep into God, reaching
into his goodness, grace and
unconditional love and ac-
ceptance, because this is the
best place to find it. Not up
the front. Not where it feels
more spiritual. Not where
it’s obvious I am ‘worship-
ping’.
The only person who needs
to know what I am doing
is me. God already knows.
And as I learn more about
this battle, I find He is
strengthening me to fight.
As I receive more of His
wisdom and insight into my
own base needs, He pro-
vides the capacity to receive
it and the knowledge of how
to best use it.
Perhaps this is worship,
page 18
that we shed our need to
be known and fall back
into the revelation that we
already are; that as we let
go and let He who loved us
first embrace us fully, we are
truly set free?
W
hat kind of revolu-
tion might unfold as
we, who know the Answer
to all our heart’s desires, let
go of what we desire to take
hold of the Keeper of our
desires and step into the
fullness he has for us?
May you be fully blessed
with His love today.