I Want to be
known
by Miriam Miles
I want to be
known.
T
his sentence is
pregnant with
meaning. On the
surface, it seems to
reflect the need to
have friends, or to
be known in a public
way; to have celebri-
ty. And being known
has its place. It might
be that I am at a new
church, job or in a new
community and want
to connect with new
people. Or I might be
a writer, performer,
or even someone who
provides a service
that we want others to
know about.
We hope that we can
bring the best bits of
ourselves into new
relationships and feel
fulfilled in the com-
munity or workplace
we have moved into.
And we want what we
do to have influence,
and being known gives
us the platform to
launch that book, ex-
page 16
hibition, performance,
or service in a way
that reaches a wider
audience, therefore ex-
panding the opportu-
nity to influence more
than just a few people.
But is there more to
this sentence? What
lies under the surface
of it and what does it
really mean to desire
to be known?
I
can only speak about
my experience and
that which I have ob-
served throughout the
society I live in. I won’t
pretend to know how
things are in other cul-
tures, let alone other
family or friendship
groups and I certain-
ly won’t be throwing
statistics at you today.
This just comes from
my journey and my
heart.
Since I was about eight
or nine years old I
have wanted to be fa-
mous. Not just known.
We’re talking big time
celebrity. These days
it would be the status
of people like Lady
Gaga but in my day, it
was Barbara Streisand,
and later, Celine Dion.
These women were
my idols – I wanted
to have what they had
and set my mind to
having it and nothing
else. My aspirations
were encouraged as
I was told repeatedly
that I had a wonderful
voice and range by
amateurs and profes-
sionals alike and I let
myself entertain my
dreams fully, imagin-
ing myself living the
life of fame, acclaim
and success.
You see, above all else,
I wanted to be known.
I wanted to know that
people knew who I
was and what I could
do. Everything was
tied up in my need to
be known.
It never occurred to
me that this might not
be the best path for my
life or that I was trying
to fulfil something that
others wanted for me.
In this place, I received
immediate affirma-
tion, recognition and,
of course, I started
to become known
by a wider audience.
However, after years
of reaching, striving,
sacrificing and push-
ing, I’ve realised it’s
not all it was cracked
up to be and over the
few years I have real-
ised this desire to be
known is more a need
to be approved of than
anything else.
I
won’t go into why
my need for approv-
al was off the charts,
suffice to say a young
mind is easily influ-
enced by nature and
nurture and I know
that there are count-
less others who have
the same, or similar,
paradigms to deal with
about approval, being
affirmed and being
known.