same . In addition to nouns ending on -ion , watch for nouns that end in -ment , -ence , or -ent . 8 These nouns tend to bury the action in extra words . Replace them with a verb instead : “ made an argument ” becomes argued and “ was in disagreement with ” becomes disagreed .
Third , prefer the active voice over the passive . Active voice is both more concise and clearer — it uses less words and focuses the reader ’ s attention on the actor and action . To spot the passive voice , watch for a be-verb ( is , are , was , were , etc .) followed by a past participle ( usually a verb ending on -ed , but beware the irregular verbs ). This combination always signals a passive voice construction . Make it active for less words and more precision :
The objection was overruled by the court . ( passive voice – 7 words ) becomes The court overruled the objection . ( active voice – 5 words )
Relatedly , replace the uninspiring to be with a stronger , more precise verb for a more concise and clearer sentence . Compare this sentence :
The Martinez decision is an illustration of this point . ( 9 words ) with Martinez illustrates this point . ( 4 words )
The same is true for sentence openers “ There is ,” “ There are ,” “ There was ,” or “ There were .” Unless the point of the sentence is that something exists , get rid of them . These phrases add no new
meaning to your writing yet weaken its impact .
These editing tips often overlap . If you replace a to be verb with a stronger , more precise one , you ’ ll likely unbury a verb hidden in a nominalization , eliminate unnecessary words , or both . Let ’ s look at this example :
The defendant is in the process of making a determination of whether to enter a plea of guilty .
You can easily spot the weak to be , three ofs , and a nominalization ( determinat-ion ). Replacing to be with a stronger , more precise verb helps address the other concision issues in the sentence :
The defendant is determining whether to enter a guilty plea .
Yes , the process of editing and revising — sentence by sentence — to omit needless words and phrases can be time-consuming . And time is one thing lawyers tend to lack . But the more proficient you become in using these editing tips , the less time the editing process will take . Plus , we promise you , the time will be well-spent . Your writing will be clear and concise . And your audience will both notice and appreciate it .
1 . William Strunk , Jr . & E . B . White , THE ELEMENTS OF STYLE 23 ( 4th ed . 2000 ). 2 . Bryan A . Garner , LEGAL WRITING IN PLAIN ENGLISH 17 ( 2001 ). 3 . Id . 4 . Id . 5 . Id . at 18 . 6 . Id . at 211 . 7 . Richard C . Wydick , PLAIN ENGLISH FOR LAWYERS 55 ( 5th ed . 2005 ) 8 . Nouns that end on -al , -ant , -ance , -ancy , -ency , or -icy can also hide verbs .
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