Pillar 2:
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Pillar 2:
Ask for What You Need
Nobody can do everything on their own. Yet care partners tend to take on more, and more, and more. At some point, even the helpers need help. Checking in with yourself and asking for what you need— clearly, directly and regularly— can keep you going strong as a care partner and prevent burnout or other health problems.
How to Ask for What You Need
There are many reasons care partners may not ask for support. You might not know where to start or even what you need. You may not know what kind of support is available or how to access the support that’ s out there. Maybe your loved one is against the idea of outside help, out of pride, privacy or embarrassment. Maybe you’ re worried about imposing on others. But often, others want to help; turning to family, friends, professionals or your community can lighten your load. It takes courage to ask for help. It is a sign of strength— not weakness— to know what you need and speak up about it.
Step 1: Know When You Need Help
When you’ re focused on getting through each day, it can be hard to see that you can use some help. It’ s time to reach out when you feel sustained overwhelm, wonder how you’ re going to get it all done or have trouble sleeping or eating. It’ s also time when you can’ t find time to care for yourself, can’ t remember the last time you took a short break or a loved one or medical professional suggests you get some additional support.
Step 2: Outline Your Needs
Once you identify and agree on the need for support, the next step is to list what kind of support you need. Some people don’ t know where to start; that’ s okay. To begin, consider some common needs:
Making sure your loved one is safe. Parkinson’ s can cause problems with falls, memory and thinking( cognition) or hallucinations. You may need help to make sure the home is safe for walking and other daily activities or that your loved one has in-person supervision or support available much or all of the time.
Getting out of the house. It can be hard to navigate all the outside tasks that enable your household to run smoothly while caring for your loved one. You may wind up staying at home, unable to run errands or take care of your own needs. A change of scenery, natural light and interacting with others are essential for your well-being.
Taking a break. Nobody can maintain constant care partnership. Taking breaks( even just a few minutes a few times per week) can help you recharge.
Engaging in exercise. Physical activity can boost your energy and your mood as well as your overall health and well-being.
Caring for your kids. If you have children at home, you may feel the pressure of caring for your loved one and your kids at the same time. Asking for help with childcare can free up your mental load, allowing you to be the best care partner and parent possible.
You may want to keep a separate list of medical care and other needs to discuss with your loved one’ s doctor or social worker. If you don’ t want to ask during an office visit, call to speak with the doctor ahead of time, or ask them to step into the hallway for a quick chat after the exam. Turn to How Do I Build a Parkinson’ s Care Team? for more.
Don’ t forget to ask for what you need from your loved one, too: They are your partner in Parkinson’ s. Give and take on both sides of any partnership is crucial.
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