Dear Acu,
How long should I wait to "face to face" Skype with a cyber friend? We have voice chatted lots of times but, I want to show that I am not a troll but, I am concerned about privacy.
There's no set timeline for when it would be best to begin video chat with someone. In the age of “catfishing”, it is not unrealistic to be asked to chat via video early on. As relationships evolve beyond casual conversation, people are interested in verifying your identity as soon as possible. It seems as though your concern about privacy indicates, you are in a place where you don't feel certain enough about this person that sharing your identity feels safe. I believe that is the best measure for when to “reveal” yourself. Trust your gut! It is not necessary that you expose your personal life/identity to every person who requests it online. If you find that you feel truly connected to this individual and want the relationship to go further then considering their need to verify who you are, as important as your need to do the same should be.
Dear Acu,
My girlfriend sent me nude pictures of herself thru the email. Now she wants me to send her some back. I don't feel comfortable doing it. How do I get out of it without her thinking that I am not so with it? Camera Shy
...by telling her that. If you made promises to her, Camera Shy, that you would exchange pictures if she were willing to send a few of her own it was wrong to mislead her. It
would be fair, once you've shared you are not willing to provide nude pictures in kind, if she decided to move on in her disappointment.
If this was not a mutual agreement, you are under no obligation to send her photos. You might also suggest to her that if she is not comfortable with your shyness that she need not send any additional photos. If you are planning for this relationship to go anywhere, it is important that you begin to shape your communication with each other as early as possible. Be honest; let her know how you feel. It is important that she understand who you are and can accept you as you are.