Are You Playing The
Blame Game In Your
Relationship?
D I V O R C E
4 1 1
By: Aaron Kaplan
CTA-CC, CDC Certified Divorce Coach®, Certified PrepareEnrich Facilitator
O
ne of my coaching clients recently told me about a social group that
she recently joined, that meets regularly that consists of divorced
women. I immediately thought; “oh, this is intriguing!” She then
explained that while the overarching premise of the group is for social
activities, my friend did explain to me that dinner conversations tend to
morph into what could be described as conversations one would expect to
take place during a meeting of a divorce support group.
Since the common bond that unites this group
of women is that they have all experienced
divorce, and are each individually at different
stages of their respective post-divorce
journeys, it was explained to me that many,
if not most in the group view their gatherings
as an opportunity not just to socialize, but
to also share their respective experiences,
lessons, and insights. When I heard this
I thought it was fantastic. For there is
something powerful in the common bonds
forged through community. And, divorce can
be an extremely lonely experience, not just
while you are going through the process, but
16 | Divorce 411 April 2015
also in the months and years after. A person
who is a divorced is part of a club that only
those who have also gone through it can truly
understand. So I when I heard this, I thought
that it was great that these women have
created a community amongst themselves
with which they can experience camaraderie
and support from one another.
So I innocently asked my client what the group
typically talks about with respect to their
divorce experiences when offering support
to one another. What she said to me was, in
my opinion, rather disturbing. Here is just a
sampling that I am paraphrasing: