Article by Dr. Tunishai Ford
BEFORE YOU SAY, "I DO"!
What to Look for in Marriage;
Growth and Beyond
I recall looking at some photographs of celebrities when they first started out in their careers. Many of them look very different from how they look now. One in particular is Oprah Winfrey. When she first started hosting her talk show, she had the big hair, shiny face with a lot of makeup, especially around her eyes. Her attire was kind of flamboyant too. When I look at Oprah's image now, she is much more polished and refined. Yes, she still wears the makeup and the big hair, but it is much more conservative. Now this article is not about image and fashion, but it is about change. As I thought about Oprah and how she has been transformed in her 25 plus years in television, I began to think about how marriage should also transform, if they have existed for any length of time.
When a couple first starts off, especially if they are young adults in their early twenties, they start off with a lot of expectations and hopes, but they may not go into the marriage with ability, money or knowledge. They walk the path of matrimony often times like they are
walking on a tightrope, very cautiously. They look for sign of infidelity, they see the faults they didn't see during their courtship, and they are more concerned about what happens in the bedroom than in any other room. Oh yes, they are in love, but there are still many things missing at this stage of the marriage and hopefully the years to come will reveal and catapult their efforts.
They say that the first five years of a marriage are the formation years and if a marriage can survive those first five years, then they can probably make it as a couple. It is those first five years that growth and change should be occurring. One spouse should not hinder the other from discovering who they are and who they can become. It is a time of growth and maturity in every area of their lives, at least it should be. Both partners should strive to really discover their own individuality separate and apart from one another. The goal of the marriage is to bring out the best in one another and help each strive to be the best they can be in all of their goals and their