He says: “Yesterday, I was ironing my shirts when the phone rang and I accidentally
answered the iron.”
The boss says: “Well, that explains one ear … but what happened to the other?”
The guy says: “Well, I had to phone the doctor quickly!”
JOKE 2:
Five Men In A Quattro
Five Englishmen in an Audi Quattro arrived at an Irish border checkpoint.
Paddy, the officer, stops them and tells them: 'It is illegal to put 5 people in a Quattro,
Quattro means four'
'Quattro is just the name of the automobile,' the Englishman retorts disbelievingly. 'Look at
the papers, this car is designed to carry five persons.'
'You cannot pull that one on me,' replies Paddy 'Quattro means four. You have five people
in your car and you are therefore breaking the law.'
The Englishmen replies angrily, 'You idiot! Call your supervisor over. I want to speak to
someone with more intelligence! '
'Sorry,' responds Paddy, ' Murphy is busy with 2 guys in a Fiat Uno.'
JOKE 3: THE BIRTHDAY PRESENT
A woman needed to buy her mother a birthday present. She didn’t know what to buy her
mother. She only had one day to buy her mother something.
So she went out window shopping. Soon enough, she walked by a pet store window. She
thought to herself, “What a lovely idea for a present! My mother is so lonely and she needs
a pet.”
The woman went into the store and saw many wonderful animals. Puppy dogs, fluffy cats,
gold fish, cute mice. But the woman didn’t think these were special enough. She asked the
manager if he had a pet that was really special.
The manager thought for a moment and replied, “Yes, but it costs a lot of money. $5,000”
“I have a parrot that can speak 7 languages, Chinese, English, French, Korean, German,
Russian and even Hindi!”
The woman said, “Perfect” and bought the bird. She sent it by special delivery to her
mother, so she would get it the next day.
The next evening after work, the woman called her mother. She asked, “How do you like
your birthday present.”
Her mother replied, “Thank you, IT’S DELICIOUS!”
4 The Lawyer and the BMW
A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new BMW in front of his office, ready to show it
off to his colleagues.
As he got out, a truck passed too close and tore off the door on the driver's side.
The lawyer immediately grabbed his cell phone, dialed 911, and within minutes a
policeman pulled up.
Before the officer had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming
hysterically. His BMW, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely
ruined no matter what the body shop did to it.
When the lawyer finally calmed down from his ranting and raving, the officer shook his
head in disgust and disbelief.
"I can not believe how materialistic you lawyers are," the cop said. "You are so focused on