The Fun Page
In the Numberz
Peter’s Poll
What are you doing for April Fool’s Day?
Telling mom and dad there’s no school – 40.4%
Writing a fake Chieftain article – 39-1%
Wearing last year’s ID – 18.3%
Telling your girl it’s over – 10.6%
Regretting telling your girl it’s over - 10.6%
-Peter Monaghan
99% of students who use the iPads for games
467 students who have some sort of dress code viola
tion each day
.01% odds that the Seniors will be allowed to do a
Senior prank
37 average length, in minutes, of a conversation with
Mr. King
6:1 male-to-female ratio at Colby College (see page 8)
100% of people who chose Jonathan Bach on The Voice
-Jack Farrar
Look-Alikes
Letter to the Editor
Neal McCaffery
I request that the Chieftain print a retraction regarding the “Tale of the Teens” article (February 2016).
You reported that Drew Grady was voted thirdfavorite son by Janet and Scott Grady, when, in fact,
he is their fourth favorite. The family dog, Bentley,
is Janet and Scott’s third-favorite son. Bentley is affectionately known as “Chuckers” around the Grady
home, while Drew is known as “Jack, who’s your
friend and is he staying for dinner again?” I trust that
you will make the necessary correction.
-Michael J. Venos
Theology Teacher/Varsity Swim Coach
Brother Rice High School
Leprechaun
Stump the Bro
1. How did the term “April Fools” originate?
A. Luxembourg’s town fool named April
B. The nonbelievers of the Jan. 1 new year
C. A and B
D. None of the above
Shout Out: MRP
Bro: C
2. Which river is dyed Kelly green for five hours every
St. Patrick’s Day?
A. Ohio River
B. Rouge River
C. Chicago River
D. Staten River
Bro: C
Bro: A
Bro’s record to date: 8-for-15 (53%)
The Chieftain
-Kordell Smith
Managing Editor Charlie Beauregard
Assistant Editor Jack Farrar
Reporters/Editors Sebastian Dybowski, Jack Fitzpatrick
Nolan Geraghty, Ryan Israel
Jacob Oxyer, Kordell Smith
Contributors
Peter Monaghan, Evan Oesterle
B ROTHE R R I C E H I G H S C HO O L C H I E F TA I N
Beauty and the Beast Cast Members: Riley Maher, Justin
Richmond, Kyle Callaghan, Matt Bonasso, Michael Blanco,
Chiebuka Onwuzrike, Shaun Bach, Mark Woods, Eddie Jevahirian, Lorenzo Spagnuolo, Jeremiah Hollis, Deon Haynes,
Tyler King, Ryan Wofford, Bruce Johnson, and
Dante Constantine
PAGE 8
Stump the Bro Answers: 1. B 2. C 3. A
3. Which NBA team has an Irish mascot?
A. Boston
B. Denver
C. Utah
D. Cleveland
M A R C H 2016