TRASH TALK
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in 2017. Riker went after his rivals, stating,“ I really like our chances this year... look at them! Mr. Kase and his Raphael motto should be,‘ Give‘ em a hug.’”
At this point, most of us are praying that St. Leo, coming off back-to-back sixth-place Field Day finishes, can break out of its drought. Mrs. Zink, Leo’ s Dean, is confident that they’ ll heat up this year, stating,“ Leo is going to win because I like to win.” Mr. Riker does not agree. He also went after Mr. Galli, a mentor group leader in Leo, claiming,“[ Leo ] is doomed, and here’ s why: It’ s just not right to wear another man’ s jersey, and Galli’ s got a closetfull.”
St. Brendan enters this year’ s Field Day with no expectations. With their last Field Day Championship coming back in 2015, and riding backto-back fourth-place finishes, they
FIELD DAY
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Coach would put me up around cleanup and I’ d crush the soul out of that $ 0.95 baseball. But everyone started to catch up to my level, and I retired at a young age to keep my legacy alive. Now, I swing for the stars while the pitcher hasn’ t even thrown the ball. But that’ s unrelated.)
Anyway, being a semiathletic kid now, I chose the one event last year that literally takes no skill, Ultimate Frisbee. But hey, it was a blast because no one was any good, except for one“ try hard” who was wearing gloves( nerd). So that’ s my suggestion if you want to play a sport but don’ t want to have a 100 mph dodgeball in your face while you can’ t even palm the ball, let alone throw it.
My problem with Field Day is that if you don’ t want to play a sport because you’ re not the strongest male the school has ever seen, then, sorry, you’ re out of luck. Y’ all got the quaint options of
Gooning here, Mr. Galli makes a rare non-jersey appearance
have become the epitome of mediocrity. Mr. Bumpus, their Dean, disagrees.“ I really don’ t see too much competition from the other bands this year,” he said.“ Leo –- a fading dynasty, at best. Max Kolbe-- I don’ t think there are any swimming events in Field
Kahoot, Brick Breaker, Chess, and Video Games. But beware, those Super Smash games get ROWDY, so you gotta be ready to joust to your death.
My point here is that unathletic kids don’ t have fair options. Just imagine,
Results from the past five Field Days show Pio’ s recent dominance
and I’ m talking to the school for this one, everyone is in the gym all pumped up while four Smash Bro pros are brawling it out on a projector. With every jump the crowd is losing their minds, and when you hear that final“ GAME,” the whole school rushes the winning player. It would be like an atmosphere of a football game.
I think we need to endorse these
Day, so their Dean really doesn’ t offer any help. Raphael-- just looking at them makes me want to give them two steps. Pio-- new coach, inexperienced. Sebastian-- I don’ t think Riker even knows he’ s a Band Dean. Overall, I like our chances.”
Brendan may be able to turn it around this year, but it also would not be surprising if they returned to their rightful spot in fourth place.
Max Kolbe is coming off a second-place finish last year, which definitely stings. Mr. Venos, Dean of Kolbe, certainly sparked a fire when prompted with the idea of Band Deans talking trash, stating,“ Band Deans don’ t talk trash because they all know that Max Kolbe is the only band worth belonging to.”
Being a member of Max Kolbe, myself, I fully support Venos’ answer. If you’ re not in Kolbe, you might as well stay home on Friday.
smaller events because no one is going to compete in them if the sports all overshadow them. A Chess game in front of 10 people would motivate and hype up the event so much more. Who wouldn’ t want to play Madden with people cheering on and taking bets for points for their bands?
If we were to get a whole bunch of people in a classroom while someone is AirPlaying their Brick Breaker round, it would be insane. And new for this year, the most ruthless, merciless, heartless, vicious, friendship-ending event, Mario Kart. It will get completely out of hand.
Bring on the bowling, no survivors. Two men enter, one leaves. It’ s still unknown where the loser ends up. Legend says you teleport into a St. Mary’ s classroom with a 2.0 GPA. It gives me nightmares thinking about it.
Nevertheless, if we could just hype up the smaller events for the unathletic kids, then maybe we could make a Field Day for the history books.
BROTHER RICE HIGH SCHOOL CHIEFTAIN PAGE 2 O CTOBER 2018
Photo thanks to Mr. Riker