Eve ’ s stomach clenched as it always did when Adam called her this . As he began to list rules , the ground trembled , and the birds in the trees took flight en masse , scattershot against the clear blue sky . “ Looks like God is out for his a ernoon stroll ,” Eve said . “ Oh no !” Adam shoved the apple into Eve ’ s hand and adjusted his leaves . “ Hello ,” God said . “ Hi ,” Eve replied . “ Lovely a ernoon ,” God said . “ Yup , just like yesterday and the day before .” God dropped his gaze to the humans under the tree . “ What are you wearing ?” God asked “ It ’ s a covering of my own invention ,” Adam said . “ Why do you need that ?” “ To cover my mongoose , I mean penis ,” Adam said . “ Because I ’ m naked .” “ Who taught you that word ?” God demanded . “ It was her fault !” Adam pointed at Eve . “ She made me eat the apple ! Blame her , not me !” “ Is this true ?” God asked Eve . “ It ’ s true that I ate this apple ,” Eve said . She licked some of the knowledge juice off her fingers and understood Ponzi schemes . “ I told you never to eat from this tree ,” God said . “ It ’ s true , you did !” Adam pounded the ground with his fists . “ You told us we would die !” “ But we didn ’ t die ,” Eve said . “ That was a lie .” “ God doesn ’ t lie !” Adam said . “ Then why aren ’ t we dead ?” Eve asked . “ No one but God should have knowledge of good and evil !” said God . “ The power is for me alone so that I can create in my perfect image . And I don ’ t lie !”