Forgive Yourself. In any relationship, in order to move forward, one must be forgiven. If you wrong someone at work, you ask for forgiveness. If you upset your best friend, you ask for forgiveness. Have we ever asked to forgive ourselves? For mistreating our bodies in our 20s? For not freeing ourselves from situations sooner? This forgiveness applies to the relationship you have with yourself as well. We have all made dating mistakes. Every last one of us. I think only Barack and Michelle have it right…lol. In order to truly move on -- and give yourself the best chance at finding not only real love but the right love -- you have to forgive yourself for the bad choices made in the past. Forgive yourself for ignoring the signs and putting your heart in harm’s way. Forgive yourself for taking him at his word and ignoring every action in front of you. If you do not genuinely forgive yourself for the relationship mistakes you made in the past, you will resent yourself and not trust yourself. Just like you would anyone you have not forgiven. Not forgiving yourself, opens you up to self-sabotage. You unconsciously operate in a manner that says I don’t deserve a good man. I wouldn’t know what to do with a nice guy. If the forgiveness does not happen, you can further slide into telling yourself I don’t need love. Simply because you think you do not deserve it. Or don’t trust yourself to make it work because it did not work in the past. Cuss yourself out and sincerely apologize to your heart.
"In order to truly move on -- and give yourself the best chance at finding not only real love but the right love -- you have to forgive yourself for the bad choices made in the past."
Doing better is a conscious choice. After you have forgiven yourself, the conscious choice is easier to make. What I mean by conscious, you have to be present in the moment when making the choice. Not only do you have to be present, but so does your newly discovered logic and strength. You have to choose to not sleep with this guy on the first date like you have done in the past. You have to tell yourself to pay attention to the signs and then act on what is seen. Act on what is seen based on what has happened before. You have to have the willpower if you want to lose the excess weight of a bad relationship, of making bad choices. You have to be able to resist the temptation of doing what feels good or what causes the least conflict and do what is right for the relationship – the relationship you have with yourself.
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