Forgiveness does not obligate
anyone to tolerate aggressive or violent behavior no matter the reason. Furthermore, it does not excuse or give approval to the exercise of poor judgment or misconduct.It does however, give you a sense that the person who harmed you no longer occupies the central focus of your mind. Given this new perspective an avenue exists to explore other interests, advance curiosity, and redirect energy to more meaningful activities. Once you have forgiven the offender, living more authentically is within reach.
You have the option of responding to the injury (i.e., emotional, psychological, physical, etc.) without being entirely consumed with thoughts of the guilty party. For persons struggling whether to forgive, there may be a sense they are excusing the violator’s behavior or intentionally muting their cry for justice.
Pursuit of justice is warranted when a wrong has been committed. Your decision to forgive does not excuse or represent acceptance of unethical, dangerous, or illegal behavior. In instances of domestic violence there is a right to take measures to increase personal safety.
Another aspect of forgiveness requires a degree of compassion and a willingness to cancel all vendettas. An unexpected paradox occurs: independence emerges from vulnerability. At this point, forgiveness grants you power to determine the nature of the injured relationship following the act of forgiveness.
On the other hand, endorsing unforgiveness, a trained focus on the worst of the human condition, will likely deteriorate the quality of friendships and make trusting others more difficult.
Consequently, the hurt brought on by the offense may leave you with problematic thoughts that problematic
problematic thoughts that may interfere with events/activities. Often, these thoughts lead to false assumptions such as, “I am not worthy of love.” The overall effect is less ability to accurately label the event and define ourselves. Lauren might accept the belief almost any account she develops will be undermined by unethical business practices.
As such, she may begin to view her professional identity less favorably. Ideally, interrupting this destructive thought pattern creates a different experience. The first step is to acknowledge the assumption is false.
Second, reinterpret the unhealthy thoughts using a positive description to begin redefining your identity.
The following is an illustration: