BOOM December 2015 | Page 35

armpits in the mirror as you change your shirt. “My baghal (armpit)… my baghal!!” Boops, your baghal will be six shades darker than the last time you remembered and will seem as if you haven’t bathed since the last three months. You will think you have one in a million incurable disease, which will result with first your armpits shrivelling into a prune and dying, and then the rest of you. Rest assured, those are once again the hormones at work. You are not dying. But you will spend the rest of the pregnancy staying away from sleeveless clothes and will keep your arms tucked in like a football huddle, lest someone (who doesn’t even care to be honest) sees your 50 shades of baghal.Your stomach will start expanding as the baby grows. And you will love it, except the months when your tummy starts holding up an invisible sign that says, “touch me, I am pregnant”. Yes, people who had not bothered to reply to your Salaam last year will be touching your oh-so-nice round tummy. And quite possibly tell you through “mummy science” that you must be carrying a boy because “your stomach is way too low”. Or that you look so terrible, you must be carrying a girl (mummy science verifies this through decades of research.) You will be ecstatic the first time the baby kicks, and it will continue to be a wonderful delight till the baby goes into an overactive hyper mode and starts kicking you right in the ribs… this joyous moment will have you roll into a painful ball on the bed crying, “Why, why, whhhyyyy… mummyyyyy.” Here onwards, if you are anything like me, you will start avoiding anything sweet so your baby doesn’t go high on sugar-kung-fu mode again. As your stomach expands further, you will no longer be able to see your toes standing straight; bending might hurt the back, so you can kiss (flying kiss) those toes goodbye for the next few months. This will be your new gait – step, balance, wobble, step, balance, wobble. Repeat. In fact, it will not be a gait but rather a waddle and you will fee