Bermuda Parent Bermuda Parent Winter 2016 | Page 29

ing your own in conversations with your child about challenging topics. When your child starts watching health and wellness videos in school, be sure you watch them too. You can even watch them together, if you think this will spark questions and discussion. Check in with your child’s teacher for more information on her plans. Be Authoritative. Parents who have the best results getting through to teens are authoritative rather than authoritar- ian, permissive or neglectful. So have thoughtful limits for your kids and express them to your kids frequently. Don’t imagine they will know what you expect unless you tell them. Studies show that parents with a permissive at- titude towards drinking, combined with poor communication and unhealthy modeling, lead teens into unhealthy relationships with alcohol. Parents who provide a healthy and consistent bal- ance of discipline and support are more likely to have teens respect their bound- aries on drinking and other behaviors. Cover New Angles. Kids grow up and as they do, you will become aware of important details that you failed to cover. You talked about biological sex, but did you discuss when to have sex? Kids who know their parents discour- age sex are more likely to wait. You broached the topic of alcohol, but did you get into the dangers of drugs? You don’t want your child thinking drugs are any less dangerous than alcohol. You talked about peer pressure on the playground, but what about when there is a car involved? Make sure your child will call you rather than get in the car with a drunk driver. The older kids get, the more contexts and social situations they will encounter. Keep reviewing possible scenarios with your kids so they will not be taken off guard. Teach them that it’s not only okay to say no, but that life requires us to say no sometimes in order to make the best choices for ourselves. Keep Circling Back. You are never done discussing delicate topics. For example, 80% of kids will try alcohol in high school but even if your child starts drinking in college or later, keep talking. She needs to know that you are consistently focused on her wellbeing no matter what her age. Late elemen- tary school and middle school are important times to talk about the nega- tive effects of over-indulging in alcohol. By the time kids become teens, they should have an in-depth understand- ing of the negative effects of alcohol and should know you are willing to talk more any time. Restrict Media Images Of Partying. A 2010 Dartmouth Medical School study concluded that parents who steers kids clear of R-rated movies helped kids stay strong against peer-pressure to drink alcohol. According to James A. Sargent, M.D., “The research to date suggests that keeping kids from R-rated movies can help keep them from drinking, smoking, and doing a lot of other things that parents don’t want them to do.” In another study conducted the same year, Doctor Sargent concluded that children who watch R-rated movies become more prone to sensation-seeking and risk taking. Make sure your kids are mature enough for what they watch. If you are unsure, watch with them and set clear guidelines. Create Opportunities For Discus- sion. Whatever you do, don’t become so fanatical about your child making good choices that she will want to avoid these topics with you altogether. A relaxed, age-appropriate, multi-media approach can help keep the conversation going without you having to constantly bring up topics yourself. For family movie night, choose a film that sparks discus- sion or take your child to see a movie in the theatre and then discuss it over din- ner afterwards. Studies have shown that parents who are concerned, engaged and speak openly about expectations help their kids make more responsible Northeast Pennsylvania’s Premier Co-Educational Boarding School www.wyomingseminary.org • 8:1 student:faculty ratio • STEM program and electives • A short drive from New York airports • Competitive athletics, dance and fitness programs • Internationally acclaimed arts and music program • 22 AP courses The Onionpatch Academy Ages 3 months – 5 years • Open 7:30AM – 6PM Tel. 441.29-ONION (296-6466) • Fax. 441.236.5912 www.opacademy.bm • [email protected] www.mybermudaparent.com 27