ing your own in conversations with your
child about challenging topics. When
your child starts watching health and
wellness videos in school, be sure you
watch them too. You can even watch
them together, if you think this will
spark questions and discussion. Check
in with your child’s teacher for more
information on her plans.
Be Authoritative. Parents who have
the best results getting through to teens
are authoritative rather than authoritar-
ian, permissive or neglectful. So have
thoughtful limits for your kids and
express them to your kids frequently.
Don’t imagine they will know what you
expect unless you tell them. Studies
show that parents with a permissive at-
titude towards drinking, combined with
poor communication and unhealthy
modeling, lead teens into unhealthy
relationships with alcohol. Parents who
provide a healthy and consistent bal-
ance of discipline and support are more
likely to have teens respect their bound-
aries on drinking and other behaviors.
Cover New Angles. Kids grow up
and as they do, you will become aware
of important details that you failed to
cover. You talked about biological sex,
but did you discuss when to have sex?
Kids who know their parents discour-
age sex are more likely to wait. You
broached the topic of alcohol, but did
you get into the dangers of drugs? You
don’t want your child thinking drugs
are any less dangerous than alcohol.
You talked about peer pressure on the
playground, but what about when there
is a car involved? Make sure your child
will call you rather than get in the car
with a drunk driver. The older kids get,
the more contexts and social situations
they will encounter. Keep reviewing
possible scenarios with your kids so they
will not be taken off guard. Teach them
that it’s not only okay to say no, but that
life requires us to say no sometimes
in order to make the best choices for
ourselves.
Keep Circling Back. You are never
done discussing delicate topics. For
example, 80% of kids will try alcohol
in high school but even if your child
starts drinking in college or later, keep
talking. She needs to know that you are
consistently focused on her wellbeing
no matter what her age. Late elemen-
tary school and middle school are
important times to talk about the nega-
tive effects of over-indulging in alcohol.
By the time kids become teens, they
should have an in-depth understand-
ing of the negative effects of alcohol
and should know you are willing to talk
more any time.
Restrict Media Images Of Partying.
A 2010 Dartmouth Medical School study
concluded that parents who steers kids
clear of R-rated movies helped kids stay
strong against peer-pressure to drink
alcohol. According to James A. Sargent,
M.D., “The research to date suggests
that keeping kids from R-rated movies
can help keep them from drinking,
smoking, and doing a lot of other things
that parents don’t want them to do.” In
another study conducted the same year,
Doctor Sargent concluded that children
who watch R-rated movies become more
prone to sensation-seeking and risk
taking. Make sure your kids are mature
enough for what they watch. If you are
unsure, watch with them and set clear
guidelines.
Create Opportunities For Discus-
sion. Whatever you do, don’t become so
fanatical about your child making good
choices that she will want to avoid these
topics with you altogether. A relaxed,
age-appropriate, multi-media approach
can help keep the conversation going
without you having to constantly bring
up topics yourself. For family movie
night, choose a film that sparks discus-
sion or take your child to see a movie in
the theatre and then discuss it over din-
ner afterwards. Studies have shown that
parents who are concerned, engaged
and speak openly about expectations
help their kids make more responsible
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