Bermuda Parent Bermuda Parent Winter 2016 | Page 28

tweens & teens BY CHRISTINA KATZ Alcohol, Sex & Peer Pressure: How To Tackle Tough Topics With Your Kids When it comes to discussing difficult topics with your kids, your natural inclination may be to try to avoid the job altogether. But remember, your children will pay for your hesitancy or embarrass- ment with a lack of awareness they will need to make good deci- sions. You don’t want your child making emotion-fueled, spur-of- the-moment choices about alcohol, sex or peer pressure to try and prove something to their friends. You want them to be in the know, be prepared, and know in advance where they stand on crucial decisions before they get caught in a slippery situation. W hile sweet, innocent naiveté might be a preferable fan- tasy to parents in the short run, protecting kids too much can cost them as they progress through rites of passage. How soon do your kids need to be ready to make good choices? Earlier than you may think—according to the National Institute On Alcohol Abuse And Alcoholism, 40 percent of adoles- cents report drinking by eighth grade, and 55 percent report being drunk at least once by 12th grade. Kids who head off to middle school with a solid under- standing of how to make good choices about alcohol, sex, and peer pressure, can worry less and thrive more. According to The Mayo Clinic, sex education is a parent’s responsibility. And by reinforcing and supplementing what kids learn in school, parents can set the stage for a lifetime of healthy sexuality. Kids rely on parents to help them make good choices. Eighty per- cent of teens feel that parents should have a say in whether they drink or not. Be optimistic about the positive impact you can have. Information is power. It is uncommon for tweens to start having consensual sex before the age of twelve, therefore con- versations about sex need to start early—likely long before you think your child is considering the option. 26 Ideally, you want to start presenting your child with basic information on alcohol, sex, and peer-pressure from a young age. The Mayo Clinic also reports that peer pressure, curiosity, and loneliness can steer teenagers into early sexual activity. Therefore, do not delay. Start talking to your kids about the big three today. Here’s how: Start Early. Don’t wait until your child is facing challenges to start talking about tough topics. As soon as your child begins to read, arm her with books that tackle important topics. Girls start puberty between the ages of eight and thirteen and boys start puberty be- tween the ages of nine and fifteen. This means if you are going to get a jump on teaching kids about puberty, you will begin around the time they enter Kindergarten. A little bit of information delivered gradually each year will seem much less intimidating, rather then waiting for middle school and dumping a lot of information on kids all at once. Cover The Basics. How well do you understand biology, chemistry, and so- ciology? When your child hits puberty, he is going to be affected physically, emotionally, and within his peer group. This is especially true if your child is the first or the last in a group of friends to hit puberty. You might need a refresher course before you feel confident hold-