Bermuda Parent Bermuda Parent Spring 2015 | Page 19

“It is how you experience the birth, not how it actually is,
that either strengthens you or gets you down”
woman begins her life as a mother feeling low in confidence
and unhappy in herself, she may not be as able to give of
herself to the bonding process as she would do, if she em-
barks on motherhood feeling empowered and validated by
the experience. Research also suggests that the birth affects
a father’s early bonding with his child, as well as his future
relationship with his partner….all of which has ramifications
for the emotional development of a healthy infant.
Perhaps surprisingly, a positive birth experience for most
women is not determined by whether or not she had pain
relieving drugs; how the baby was born or even whether they
achieved their goals or not. A positive birth experience was
felt when the mother or couple were able to be in control of
the decisions that were made during the actual birth, as well
as feeling supported, respected and safe. As one woman put
it: “It is how you experience the birth, not how it actually is,
that either strengthens you or gets you down”.
With all this in mind, how then can women prepare to
experience a positive birth?
• Know Your Options and Find Your Voice: Find childbirth
education classes that explore choices, give evidence based
information, cover all aspects of labour and birth and that
help you to trust the amazing process of birth and your
body’s ability to cope and adapt. In my experience, most first
time mothers underestimate how hard labour is going to be
but I also find that most also underestimate how strong they
are if they want to be. Find out and think about options that
will help you feel strong, supported, respected and safe. If
your birth is long or complicated, knowing your options and
feeling heard, is especially key to a positive birth experience.
And remember every woman is different. I have seen women
transformed by the experience of having worked hard and
achieving a positive, un-medicated birth and we know that
babies do best when their mothers do not use powerful pain
relieving drugs. But I have also seen how empowering and
positive it can be for a mother who is struggling, to know the
facts and choose a well timed epidural.
• Prepare Your Mind: It is clear that giving birth can be
physically hard work but it has also been described as one of
the greatest emotional challenges a woman will go through
in her lifetime. I could write for pages about the many ways
to prepare but as a starting point, it is important that women
address their fears and find ways of coping during the birth
process. Research shows that women can be pain-free but still
perceive their birth experience as negative, which once again
suggests that a positive experience is not about being pain-
free, but how you feel about what is happening. No one can
tell you how your birth is going to unfold, whether it is going
to be straightforward or complicated or how you are going to
react but you can mentally prepare, as you would for any expe-
rience that provides a challenge and requires commitment.
• Get Great Support: If the key to a positive birth experi-
ence is to feel safe, supported, heard and respected then the
people you have around you when you are giving birth is
very important. Your partner needs to be on board with your
desires and birth preferences and know ways of helping you
achieve them, as do your caregivers. Some couples will hire a
doula to help with comfort measures, information giving and
practical support. Recent research shows a 60-80% decrease
in c-section rate and previous evidence indicated increased
breastfeeding rates and less postnatal depression amongst
many other positive outcomes.
So know your options, find your voice, prepare your
mind and get great supporters for one of the most significant
journeys of your life and aim for a ‘good’ birth.
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