Be With Me - Part One Be With Me - Part One | Page 3
Stay With Me –
Once we have found the right amount of energy in our invitations by using intention to ask our horse to be with us, we
would of course like him to now stay with us. We must not force him or demand he do so, but instead offer him
something positive so that he would like to stay and chooses to do so himself. When we are working at liberty there
should be no form of force or demand put upon our horses, otherwise it’s not truly liberty. We must always offer free
choice for the horse to leave and do his own thing and we must not feel offended if he does so.
We want to bring positives to our relationship with our horses, not negative. Negatives can be anything from keeping
him haltered so he will stay, to pressuring him, to abuse. There are many forms and we must learn to recognise them.
If he would rather wonder off and eat, why not ask to join him in his activity and then ask he join you in yours. He will
like you much more for understanding his ideas rather than just demanding your own.
When we suggest to our horse we would like him to stay with us after joining us it’s really a follow through from our
original ask of “Be With Me”. We shouldn’t have to encourage him to stay, just offer him reasons to want to. When he
comes to us on our ask, we need to fill that response with positive and beneficial feelings/needs to the horse. You may
praise him and stroke him, scratch his favourite spot, rid him of the flies, sometimes give him a treat or offer him
grass, maybe play a game he likes later down the track or venture somewhere he find’s fun.
No matter what it is your offering it must be something he enjoys and something you enjoy offering to him. I
sometimes spend 10 minutes just stroking my horse whilst gently leaning on him after he has responded to my
invitation from my intentions. I just enjoy the time with him and thank him for choosing to be with me. Other times I
do different things, all something he enjoys as well as I.
So from giving something to your horse you’re getting something in return, that is something he is also giving you. By
allowing him the choice of answering your request to join you and by offering something pleasurable in return, and if
he chooses to join you and chooses to stay he has given you one the of the most special things a horse can give and
that is free choice. Free choice in return for the choice you offered him. If we give him the choice, not option, choice
and allowance to do as he will, and I do not me in unsafe terms, I mean free choice in your time together and what you
do with it, he will offer you choice in return.
For a horse to offer back free choice, when you think about how much he relies on his own choices, decisions and
instincts for survival, that is a special thing to be offered. But when he offers back choice to you, whether it be his
choice to choose you over another horse or he chooses your idea or activity over his own, he is giving you something
of such importance to himself, simply because you gave him that same form of free choice to begin with.
Allowance, it’s a powerful thing. Easily
misused, and easily misunderstood, but most
amazing if allowance is simply aloud to be. So
allow him to be with you, offer something
wonderful for that choice, but most of all offer
him that choice. Follow him and he will follow
you, provide him with what he needs and he
will provide you with the same. When you
become an equal partner or companion, you
do things equally, but take the lead when the
other is unsure and offer guidance and
reassurance in that situation. So we cannot
force him to choose us and stay, we can only
allow him to by giving him positive reasons to
do so.
First meeting with Arthur, I make being with me enjoyable for him. I
want him to remember this association with me for all time to come.
Aulanda Park The Three “With Me” 2 | P a g e