WHAT GUYS THINK ABOUT WATCHING PORN WITH YOU
partner deficient. Porn is its own thing that exists in a sexual realm wholly different from that of intercourse. Watching porn is purely selfish, which is its appeal and its limitation. If good sex is poetry, porn is a tweet— fun but fleeting.
So why do I treat it like a CIA secret? I wasn’ t raised religious, but my school taught abstinence-based sex ed. This, combined with body shyness, made masturbation, porn, and sex feel like dirty things. Over the years, I’ ve evolved to become intellectually sex-positive. On a subconscious level, watching porn and masturbating still feel“ wrong” to me. But that’ s okay! Feeling a little shame is nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, it often fuels my arousal, since keeping it on the DL involves a certain amount of“ sneaking” and feeling“ dirty.” It’ s all part of the excitement.
While my viewing frequency goes down if I’ m having regular sex, I never completely stop. Porn is an itch that just needs scratching. Most guys are this way, I think. So unless your guy’ s porn habit is affecting your sex life in a noticeable, negative way, I wouldn’ t worry. And if you’ re reading this and thinking,“ Interesting, but my man doesn’ t watch porn,” well, he may just be as skilled at hiding it as I am.
— Matteson Perry is the author of Available: A Memoir of Heartbreak, Hookups, Love, and Brunch.
9 MINUTES, 20 SECONDS
THE AVERAGE LENGTH OF A PORN HUB. COM SESSION
SOURCE: PORNHUB’ S 2015 YEAR IN REVIEW
“ I Love It, and I’ m Not Ashamed”
I love porn. Yep, I said it. Porn is, and always has been, my most reliable friend. It’ s there for me no matter my relationship status, mood, or even the time of day. It’ s a fantasy, a distraction, a convenience, and a safety. And the two of us have spent some significant time together since I discovered my first Playboy in middle school. Nowadays, watching it is like brushing my teeth, and I’ ll put it this way: I haven’ t had a cavity in 20 years. I admit that if I didn’ t spend so many hours scrolling, I’ d definitely have
WHAT GUYS THINK ABOUT WATCHING PORN WITH YOU
“ I have nothing against it, but I don’ t really see the point. I would rather just do the deed together than watch other people doing it on a screen.”
— ADAM J., 32
“ It wouldn’ t be my thing. I don’ t need to watch porn with a girlfriend. I already get to see her naked!”
— JAKE K., 23 the time to throw myself into becoming something great— like an astronaut! But I love porn too much.
A lot of people view porn negatively, and the irony is that most of us watch it... and those who say they don’ t probably have a subscription to Brazzers( that’ s the best HD porn site, fyi). Porn can actually make your relationship stronger. My girlfriend and I are open about it— I wouldn’ t be with her if I couldn’ t be honest!— and it has inspired some sexy new moves and strengthened our connection. Sure, porn can never replace being with a woman... but if she cancels a date, it’ s a safe plan B. So my astronaut ambitions will have to wait.
— Jack Dalton is the author of Hesitation Leads to Masturbation: A Gentleman’ s Guide to Getting Laid.
“ Watching with a signficant other is good for exploring different ways to have sex and can help you become more comfortable with your partner. Everyone needs a little inspiration!”
— PAT L., 22
“ So, like, where exactly do you meet girls who will watch porn with you?”
— JEFF D., 31
“ I’ M ALL ABOUT THE ORGASM FACE”
I have this odd porn fetish: faces. Leave the headless sex robots on Reddit’ s Gone Wild page to other guys. I like seeing the way a woman’ s eyes widen when she feels pleasure, how her satisfaction ripples out to her lips and cheeks. Any desire she had to pose or perform is stripped away, and instead, you see her at her most honest— and, to me, her most beautiful. So let me see her orgasm face. I’ ll admire her ass later.
— Nate Hopper’ s writing has appeared in Esquire and Time.
79 %
OF MEN USE PORN TO MASTURBATE. SOURCE: 2016 TENGA SURVEY