THIS JUST IN: GUYS WATCH PORN. An unsurprising 76 percent of PornHub. com’ s viewers are men— and in 2015, the site had 21.2 billion( yes, billion) visits worldwide. Of course, women and couples watch porn too, but the debate about whether it’ s bad for men, for women, and for sex in general continues.“ In my experience, porn doesn’ t harm relationships or turn men into sex addicts,” says sex therapist Ian Kerner, PhD, author of She Comes First.“ What’ s harmful is the shame and secrecy that often surround it. Once couples are able to talk about porn as a form of erotica, it’ s generally a good tool to help them enjoy sex.” And yet, it’ s easy to get paranoid: Will porn replace his need to have sex with me? Am I supposed to have sex like a porn star? Here’ s what some guys had to say about what’ s streaming on their laptops and running through their minds.…
“ WHY I STILL SNEAK IT”
I’ ve never been caught watching porn. Not once. Not by a family member, roommate, girlfriend, or CIA drone. This is not an accident. I meticulously plan my sessions to eliminate risk, and when I’ m finished, I clean up like I’ m part of a HazMat unit. I flush the tissues, clear the internet-browsing history, and get dressed in under a minute. This has kept me from ever being seen with my pants around my ankles. Not that I actually let them drop that low— too risky.
As a teen, living in tight quarters with my mom and sister made this behavior a necessity, but I remained terrified of being caught long after I left home. I’ m 35 now, with a wife who is totally fine with my watching porn( she watches it too), and yet... I still sneak it! When she heads to the grocery store, I spring into action, finishing in time to help carry the bags.
I know porn can sometimes make women feel insecure. It can seem like a rival or a replacement. But remember, your man started masturbating to porn long before he met you, probably before he’ d even had sex. His relationship with it is totally egocentric— it has little to do with you. It’ s not a wish list or something a man turns to because he finds his
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