Arts, Crafts, Music, & Events of Breckinridge County Issue 12, May 2016 | Page 41

pocket, along with the pocket knife. The left pocket of my jeans is my cash
bank and place of a folded index card with notes of the day. At the top of the
"Things to Do" is always "Torch Ticks!". The purpose of the plastic lighter is
to explode ticks. Yeah, they are coaxed from the earthy thatch by the
warmth of the spring sun, but they explode under the immediate heat of a
Cricket lighter. Anytime I feel the crawling vermin on my person, I stop
whatever I'm doing and unveil the place of interest, when necessary, to
pinch, remove and then "Bic or Cricket" the nuisance! Mind you, I am
neither a militant nor a sadist but the truth is, I take great celebratory
pleasure in the subtle "pop" that results from the direct focus of a Bic lighter
to the body of a tick! Sorta like a little chestnut with legs with a "pop" and
then spewing a tiny stream of noxious smoke. It's a simple
pleasure...delightful to "Bic a tick" or play Cricket with them.
So, this spring, during the last week of April, I am going about my
chores thinking how nice it will be to have my tick bites heal while in Alaska
and away from Kentucky for a whole month! Having spent many summers
in Alaska, I know it takes about two weeks before the BB-sized-itchy bumps
cease to irritate. I went about my duties with the positive attitude that it was
all temporary and that soon I would be away and removed from the
agitation. So, in that last week of April, I awoke one morning scratching
around in my navel. I had an itch there. Suddenly I sat up, wide-eyed,
realizing,
"I have a tick up my navel!" Not just a bite! THE WHOLE DANG CRITTER
IS BURIED UP THERE!
When you bent over to look up your navel a few moments ago, did you
have the same problem I had? Did it fold shut? Talk about
aggravating....Never heard anyone with navel-envy but it was the first time I
ever wished I had an "outie"....I knew the cursed thing was in there but I
couldn't see to get a pinch on him and pull him out! To make it worse, there
is some nerve there that is attached to the spine and groin (don't believe it?
Just stick your finger in there right now and dig a bit and tell me it doesn't