Arts, Crafts, Music, & Events of Breckinridge County Issue 12, May 2016 | Page 40

Pliers For a Parasite
by Mark Keller
If you wish to participate in this episode, I challenge you to bare your
navel and do what is necessary to inspect, with your better eye, the very
most profound depth of that particular feature of your anatomy. Go
ahead....give it a look.
What was your experience? Were you able to examine the most
profound depth of that middle space in your abdomen or did you find
yourself straining to see even the outer lip of the umbilical-crater? Well, I
can only speculate at your result but I can report with confidence my own.
The last week of April, I had a lot to do in preparation for a trip to
Alaska. I had no choice but to be out and about on the soil of the Bluegrass
State, doing several projects during the emerging of winter-starved-hungryfor-a-blood-meal-ticks. By day, I was intercepting the crawling vermin off my
legs and arms. By night, I would wake to pick out already feasting-creatures
from places tender and private. It comes with the territory! It remains my
opinion that when Daniel Boone, searching for new territory to harvest
ginseng, suggested starting Boonesboro, did so in the months between
October and May. I believe that, because if he had wandered here during
the summer months, even with the mystic powers of the ginseng root, he
would have never been able to convince folks to stay here! Heat and
humidity too high and the number of noxious parasites are legion. It is very
possible that the great cavern, Mammoth Cave, has some tunnel running to
the depths of Hades and these crawling and flying demons are here in
greater numbers as they migrate from hell to vex the world; we certainly
seem to have more than a tolerable share.
So, I'm not a smoker but in the spring and summer of Kentucky, you
can usually find a Cricket or Bic lighter in my pocket. That would be the right