Aren't Humans Lucky May | Page 14

70 AWESOME ADVENTURES He sat, stupified, in the road for a short while then he heard a peculiar noise. He looked up and there, bearing down upon him, was a vast machine, with a profusion of huge steel jaws and arms, crying, “Littterlitterlitterlitter.” "No," screamed Perlock, "I'm human." The enormous robot screeched to a halt and, through a cloud of exhaust fumes and dust, said, "You’re lying in the road, ergo you are rubbish. I have not got all day to argue about your place in the scheme of things." Perlock went white, whiter when he glanced into the vast, filthy, clashing, metal mouth. He thought quickly. "Does rubbish usually talk to you?" "One finds some very intelligent rubbish about these days. The time had to come when it began to talk. You rubbish are getting very clever. Sometimes it takes me a long time to find out where you’re hiding sometimes. Luckily, you hadn’t the wit to hide. But to call yourself human? Rubbish.” Then it mumbled to itself for a while and said, "Did you hear that, non-human rubbish. It was quite humorous. I said, 'Rubbish’ meaning… Just a moment, why am I still talking to you? Besides, now that I think about it you may well be a malfunctioning robot." One of its eye-stalks wriggled close to Perlock. "In fact, I do believe you are. Well, play the game. Hop in. You're rubbish all right." Suddenly, as the cleaning robot was reaching out for Perlock, a blue police robot arrived at the scene, one of its enormous blasters at the ready. "What's all this then?" it asked.