(Again, someone else's standards and not mine.) On stage I rotated my shoulders back, slapped a smile on my face and answered questions via a microphone that the panel asked me.
Before I got on the stage I repeated the statement that says who I am:
"I am a divine, knowing, creative, confident, pure being of light."
Courage and most assuredly, confidence filled my core. The gentleman I had been dating was taken aback by my confidence and his eyes told me the story of admiration, respect, love and sheer awe. You see, all the other women were skinnier than I was, and yet I felt like the most beautiful person in the world, and it showed. I didn't win and that's OK. However, I came down from the stage found my sweetheart, and stood and shouted as loud as I could for the other contestants.
The icing on the 'peace-and-confidence-with-my-body' cake was, we had stayed in a different casino then where the car show swimsuit competition was being held. I was in a rush to get to the competition and had completely forgot to bring cover-up or a change of clothes after the competition. So again, I threw my shoulders back, head held high, and walked around the casino all day and all evening, and even ate at a restaurant in the casino in a swimsuit with red Mary Jane heels. In my eyes, I knocked that swimsuit competition out of the park. The 1st place winner was me, in my eyes.
The last part of my personal statement says it all:
"For I am Love, I am Peace, I am Beauty, I am Enough."
Sunbeam Boosts
By Marain Joann
Every day the sun sifts through our being to waken us from our dreams. Being a thirty-five year old mother of four children, some days I wish I could savor the sunbeams that waken my spirit - for hours. Minutes twinkle by and one of my younger “babies” comes into my Zen bubble. It starts to pop. But then I remember that my children provide shimmering sunbeams to me daily. I can feel their love squeeze in reminders of my own hopes and dreams for them and for myself. Sometimes I have to squint to see the light, but it is there. Always.
Sunbeams regenerate often. Renew our inner child. Refresh the blah of the days before. There’s a poem by Patricia Kelsey Graham titled, “I Am Like A Star.” This poem put to song emanates who we are and what we can do to bring ourselves our own sunbeams.
Proud to share ourselves with the world - shining brightly! We are loved by a kind God and our kindness and positivity will bring us our sunbeams. The more we have the more we can give to others.
Look in the mirror at yourself for a minute. I’ve read that somehow looking into a magical mirror, stark naked, is therapeutic. Most of the time, I think the supposed benefits are all hogwash. I wearily examine myself in a mirror and I want to let tears fly down into an endless rage. I want to scream, “See, this is wrong. That is wrong. Oh dummy, you missed that wrong thing here too. ... See *I* am wrong!”
Let’s stop scaring off any deserving sunbeams with self hate! Suck the radiant rays all in. (Cont. on Next Pg.)
What's Keeping You from Loving You?
©JessicaAsh