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Aptavani-9
what I got, I did not want any more, but I wanted my sister-in-
law to have less than me. So what did my mother tell me? ‘Your
mother is here, her mother is not, is she? I have to give her the
same otherwise the poor girl will feel bad.’ I was still not
satisfied. My mother continued to explain things and reason with
me; she kept patching up the situation. However, one day I
became obstinate and lost out and so I decided never to do so
again. Generally people would say, ‘Just let him be.’ Would that
not happen?
Thereafter he never became upset and non-
communicative
Questioner: To instantly recognize a loss is vaniya-
buddhi (the intellect of a baniya-business man), is it not?
Dadashri: It is nothing like that. Vaniya-intellect is
vanik-intellect. Vanik-intellect means thoughtful intellect. It is
wise intellect. Having understood the loss, one would never
incur that loss again. Would he?
You lose when you become upset and non-communicative
(risavu). What will others do if you do so, throw a tantrum and
refuse to eat dinner? Will they all stay awake for you? They will
go to sleep when it is time, so you will be the only loser.
What a cycle of becoming upset and non-communicative
(risavu) and the appeasement that follows? And who would
bother pampering and appeasing? When the dinner is ready,
they will call out, ‘Uncle, please come down for dinner. It is
ready and everyone is waiting for you.’ The uncle will say, ‘Go,
I am not coming.’ Would everyone beg him over and over to
come? Would they not start eating without him?
So I never became upset and non-communicative (risavu)
again. Even now, I never become upset and non-communicative
with anyone. Not even with ‘our’ business partner. He used to
become so occasionally, but not seeing any reaction within ‘us’,
he stopped being that way again.