454
Aptavani-9
You should not say even a single word to explain or clarify
any questions (about Gnan). Let there be casual conversations.
Do not think that there is a difference between you and the other
person. He talks because ‘he’ wants to show his superiority and
importance (visheshata). And ‘he’ (the discharge ego) is verily
the one who instigates and stirs up all those kashayas. Not a
single sentence of ‘ours’ is uttered with the intent of self-
importance (vishesh bhaav); the words just flow naturally. This
is because the speech is a ‘record.’ (The Gnani has no
ownership of the speech that comes out from him). There is no
problem once even your speech becomes a ‘record’ (when you
do not have ownership of your speech). There is no problem
after your speech becomes a record (when truly all ownership
of speech is gone), but as yet it does not come forth as a
‘record’, does it?
Generally, when two people are talking, you feel like
putting your ‘two cents’ worth. That is not called Gnan. Gnan
is not something to be used as a weapon to compete and
argue. There should not be any competition. Competitiveness
(spardha) is a worldly thing and it will keep you entrenched in
it.
Grace and awareness are different
The kashayas that lie smoldering within will be destroyed
as awareness (jagruti) increases. You have to take advantage
of this awareness. These external karmas (which present through
an external nimit and ignite the kashaya) lie smoldering within
but they die through samayik (focused application of the light of
the Self during introspective meditation) of events of kashayas
that have occurred. However, nothing is guaranteed until one
becomes ‘tested’- devoid of any reaction to any future situation
which would otherwise give rise to kashaya. Such ‘test
examinations’ in life are necessary.
Jagruti is that which ‘sees this, that and everything.’ That